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When there is self-sabotage there is always an inner conflict – a part of yourself wants a promotion/more clients/a loving relationship/insert your goal here, but another part of yourself is not fully on board with the idea.

Today I want to share with you 3 powerful questions you need to ask yourself to stop self-sabotage for good!

Watch the video or scroll down to continue reading.




Question 1. What Part of Yourself is Sabotaging Your Vision?

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, bringing your awareness to your inner world.

As you visualise your goal or the area of your life where you feel blocked, bring your awareness to your body and see if any resistance comes up for you.

Try to locate the part of yourself that is not fully on board with your vision – does she think you are not worthy of it? Or that it is not possible for her? Is she scared of any potential consequences?

Have an inner dialogue with her to understand where she is coming from and why she is resisting.


Question 2. What is the benefit or secondary gain?

Whenever there is self-sabotage, there is a secondary gain or benefit. I know this might sound counterintuitive – how could sabotaging myself be helping me in any way?

But very often these parts of ourselves are just trying to protect us, and for them, this is a big reason to stop us! For them there is a benefit in keeping us safe and stopping us from potentially being hurt or experiencing a painful situation.

Continue the dialogue with that part of yourself and ask her what is she trying to protect you from or what is she gaining by stopping you from achieving your goal.

Question 3. What does she need to be fully on board with your vision?

Now that you have identified the part of yourself that is blocking you and you understand why she is doing it, ask her what she would need to help you create your vision instead of sabotaging it.

Very often these parts of ourselves are scared, don’t believe in themselves or they are just trying to protect us from failure, pain, suffering, etc.

Most of the time, they just need some love, validation and reassurance. Help her feel safe and express herself.

This is quite and advanced healing technique so don’t worry if it takes some time until you can have this type of inner dialogue!

If you are struggling to do it on your own, Matrix Reimprinting is a wonderful technique for this, you can learn more about it here.

Also, in my free online course ‘Step Into Your Power with Confidence & Joy’ you will learn how to go to the root of limiting beliefs and rewrite them into empowering ones in a way that you will actually rewire your subconscious mind. Sign-up for free here.


Hi, I’m Verónica! I work with women on a self-development journey who feel ready to fianlly  do the deep healing so they can live they joyful and fulfilling life they deserve. I have helped many women across the globe (almost 20 countries now!) to step into their power and elevate themselves beyond their story and start living in an authentic and fulfilling way, leaving the people pleasing, self-doubts and old ways of living behind.

If you are ready for the deepest level of healing and transformation, book a free discovery session with me to see how my healing coaching programmes can help you create the life of joy and purpose you came here to live.


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